Q&A With Kaila Yu 

I was honored when Kaila Yu messaged me on Instagram and offered to send me her memoir and am equally honored that she agreed to this Q&A. Kaila Yu is the author of the memoir Fetishized A Reckoning With Yellow Fever, Feminism, And Beauty. Kaila is also a freelance writer for the Los Angeles Times, Rolling Stone, The New York Times, Business Insider, Conde Nast Traveler and many more. Kaila was formerly a model and the lead singer for all female Asian American rock band Nylon Pink. 

Q: Kaila, I’m so happy and honored to interview you! Welcome to Book Notions! Would you please give a brief description of Fetishized for readers who have not read your memoir? 

A: Fetishized is a memoir-in-essays about the media that shaped me growing up in the ’90s and 2000s, from Memoirs of a Geisha and the Harajuku Girls to The Fast and the Furious, and the ways pop culture fetishized Asian women. I also trace the historical roots of the Asian fetish and explore why these stereotypes are still so harmful today.

Q: In Fetishized & in your letter that came along with the memoir you said, I never imagined writing until the tragic 2021 Atlanta spa shooting, a horrific event that forced me to confront how I had played a role in perpetuating the fetishized stereotypes of Asian women. Is it fair to say you began writing this memoir after the tragic shooting and it took you 3 or 4 years? 

A: Yes, the Atlanta spa shootings were definitely the catalyst for me to finally tell my story. The pitching process took about two years, and once I sold the book, I spent roughly a year writing it.

Q: You write a lot of painful memories in your memoir as well as cultural critique of how the media sexualizes Asian women. Were there times recounting these painful memories and writing them down that you had to step away from writing? 

A: Luckily, I’ve spent years in recovery and have talked through these experiences in support groups and with therapists, so writing about them was actually very healing. I do hear from a lot of readers that they sometimes have to put the book down and take a break because some of the material is so heavy and triggering.

Q: Since we are discussing how media has sexualized Asian women and how you brought up Memoirs of a Geisha, Rush Hour 2, Kill Bill & Charlies Angels 1 & 2, have you seen the Scorpion King the spin off movie to The Mummy Returns? If so, what do you think of Cassandra, (played by Kelly Hu) who was the love interest of the Rock’s Scorpion King character Mathyus? Cassandra was very sexualized especially in the golden bikini outfit. 

A: I’ve never actually watched Scorpion King; I’ll have to check it out!

Q: What are important messages you hope readers learn after they finish your memoir? For me, this memoir is a reminder for all women Asian and Non-Asian women, that our self-worth comes from within and not our looks and not appealing to the male gaze.  

A: That the patriarchal has built the structure that we all live under and the first step to dismantling it is to recognize the programming. Also, what you said!

That patriarchy has shaped so much of the structure we live in, often in ways we don’t even recognize. I think the first step toward dismantling it is becoming aware of that programming. And I completely agree with what you said as well!

Q: Kaila, you are a freelance writer for the Los Angeles Times, Rolling Stone, The New York Times, Business Insider, Conde Nast Traveler. How does it feel knowing you write for such famous publications? What is your advice for anyone wanting to submit their work for the same publications you write for? 

A: My biggest advice is that anyone can do it. I broke into those publications without contacts or referrals. I cold pitched all of my editors.

I also really recommend taking pitching and feature-writing classes. I took courses through Pitch Like a Honey Badger and Gotham Writers.

Beyond that, pitch aggressively, always follow up and get comfortable with rejection. I never take it personally its a numbers game. 

Q: Speaking of writing, since you had your memoir written and published, are you just focusing on freelance writing right now, or are you writing another nonfiction book? If you are writing another nonfiction book, will it be another memoir or will it be something very different? 

A: I’m toying around with another book idea that could be fiction or non-fiction, not sure yet! 

Q: If you were to write fiction books, would it be a mystery, romance, or sci-fi and fantasy? 

A: Probably none of those topics. If I wrote fiction, I’d most likely draw from real life and use a dramatic story as a vehicle for cultural criticism.