Q&A With Venus Morris Griffin

Publicist, Carisa Hays, was kind enough to send me a copy of Venus Morris Griffin’s memoir The Other Side of Perfect: A True Story of Love, Lies, and Learning to Forgive & to arrange this interview with Venus! I spent last month devouring the memoir! The Other Side of Perfect is available today on September 22^nd wherever you get your books!

Q: Welcome to Book Notions, Venus! It’s an honor having the opportunity to interview you! Would you please give a brief description of your memoir, The Other Side of Perfect?

A: The Other Side of Perfect is the true story of what was happening behind a life that looked almost perfect from the outside. It begins with my childhood in a home shaped by addiction and instability, then follows the marriage I believed would give me the safe family I had always wanted. Instead, that marriage became filled with secrets, manipulation, emotional abuse, and eventually a late-night phone call that changed everything.

When the father of my children was sentenced to 45 years in prison, I was left with six children, hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, and no idea how I was going to support my family. But this book is not only about what happened to me. It is about what I did next. It is a story of faith, forgiveness, hard work, and rebuilding a life when you cannot yet see the way forward. More than anything, it is for the person who believes someone else’s choices have ruined their future. I want readers to know that their hardest chapter does not have to be their last.

Q: How long did it take you to write The Other Side of Perfect, and why was now the right time to write and release it to the world?

A: It took me seven years to write The Other Side of Perfect, although in many ways, it took a lifetime to be ready to tell it. The turning point came after Brandon Stanton shared my story through Humans of New York in 2022. Millions of people read it, and I received messages from women around the world who saw parts of their own lives in mine. Some told me they had been ready to give up. That response made me understand that this story was no longer only about my family. It could become a lifeline for someone who felt trapped, ashamed, or convinced that her life was over.

Getting it into the world took longer than I expected. It was important to me that the book remain honest and sound like my own voice, so I took the time to find the right publishing team. Publishing with Resolve Editions, an imprint of Forefront Books allowed me to tell the story the way I believed it needed to be told.

Years earlier, when I was struggling to support my children and rebuild our lives, I made a promise to God that if He helped us survive, I would spend the rest of my life helping other people through their own difficult seasons. Releasing this book now feels like the fulfillment of that promise.

Q: In the memoir, you mentioned a few times the importance of being honest when telling your story, even when it was uncomfortable. I appreciate your honesty. Were there times while you were writing The Other Side of Perfect that you had to step back from writing it because the memories can sometimes be very painful? Or did it feel cathartic writing about everything regardless of how unpleasant it was?

A: Both are true. There were times when writing was cathartic, but getting to that point was much harder than I expected.

I had spent years deliberately not thinking about certain experiences because that was how I survived and continued raising my children. Writing the book required me to return to those memories and sit with them long enough to put them into words. There were nights when I sat at my kitchen table crying over my laptop. There were parts I wanted to leave out, and there were times I quit because I did not think I could keep going.

But I knew that if I softened the truth or removed the most uncomfortable parts, I would be telling a different story. I did not want to write a book that made me look perfect. That would have defeated its entire purpose. I needed to acknowledge the warning signs I ignored, the boundaries I failed to set, and the ways I sometimes confused staying with faithfulness.

Once the story was finally on the page, I felt lighter. I had carried shame that never belonged to me, and telling the truth helped me put it down. Writing did not erase what happened, but it allowed me to see the story as a whole. I could finally see not only the pain, but also how far my children and I had come.

Q: What are the core lessons you hope everyone remembers and learns once they finish reading The Other Side of Perfect? I love how The Other Side of Perfect acknowledges the importance of forgiveness and that forgiveness does NOT always mean reconciliation. Nor does forgiveness mean enabling, and there’s no such thing as forgive and forget. As a fellow Catholic, I know that many mistakenly believe that forgiveness and reconciliation are mutually exclusive, and that’s not always the case.

A: That distinction is one of the most important lessons in the book. For many years, I believed forgiveness meant continuing to give someone another chance. I thought staying was faithful and leaving was a failure. I did not yet understand that faith does not require self-abandonment, and forgiveness does not require continued exposure to harm.

I believe forgiveness is something we do within ourselves so that anger and bitterness do not control the rest of our lives. Reconciliation is different. Reconciliation requires truth, accountability, repentance, and meaningful change from both people. You can forgive someone and still recognize that it is not healthy or safe to allow that person back into your
life.

Forgiveness also does not mean forgetting. We remember so that we can learn, establish boundaries, listen to our instincts, and protect the people entrusted to our care. Boundaries are not a failure to love someone. Sometimes they are the most responsible and loving choice we can make.

I also hope readers understand that they are not responsible for another person’s actions. We can honestly examine our own choices without carrying guilt for harm we did not cause. I can acknowledge that I stayed too long and ignored moments when my instincts told me something was wrong, while still understanding that his crimes and choices belong to him alone.

Finally, I hope readers remember that they are not powerless, they are not finished, and they are not too late. You may not be able to change what happened to you, but you still have agency over what happens next.

Q: Are you currently writing another memoir that will be a sequel to The Other Side of Perfect? Or do you think you will try your hand at fiction this time around?

A: I am not currently writing another memoir, but I would never rule out a sequel. My life has continued to unfold in ways I never expected, and there may come a time when I feel called to share the next part of my story. Writing fiction is not on my radar right now. I have learned never to say never, but if I write another book, I believe it would most likely come from my own life and experiences.

For now, my focus is on bringing The Other Side of Perfect into the world and getting it into the hands of the people who may need it. I am also continuing my work in real estate and through the VMG Foundation, where we provide $10,000 college scholarships to students who have a parent in prison. I am donating all of the proceeds from the book to the foundation and other organizations that are changing lives.

After spending seven years writing such a personal and emotionally demanding memoir, I want to give this book the time and attention it deserves before deciding what comes next.

Q: Venus, would you please provide your social media links so that way the readers of the blog and I may follow you and your work?

A: Absolutely. I would love to connect with you and your readers.

Author and speaking website:

https://www.venusmorrisgriffin.com <https://www.venusmorrisgriffin.com/>

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/venusmorrisgriffin

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/venusmorrisgriffin
TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@venusmorrisgriffin

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/venusmorrisgriffin

I share updates about The Other Side of Perfect, my speaking engagements, the VMG Foundation, my real estate career, and what I am still learning about faith, family, forgiveness, and rebuilding on these platforms.