Q&A With Heather Sweeney 

Heather Sweeney is an author and essayist whom I’m glad to be interviewing. Heather is the author of the memoir Camouflage. Heather has had her work appear in The New York Times, Washington Post, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Business Insider, TODAY, Electric Lit, & many others! 

Q: Welcome to Book Notions Heather! Would you please give a brief description of your memoir Camouflage? 

A: Thanks for having me! My debut memoir Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage is about my journey from being overshadowed by my husband’s military career to rediscovering my identity as a single mother. The memoir explores how, like many military spouses, I camouflaged my identity, conforming to the expected role of the supportive wife who was secondary to my husband’s career as a Navy officer. But after I ended my thirteen-year marriage in my late thirties, I set out on a quest to figure out who I was as a woman without my husband, discovering that the hardships of military life—the forced independence, frequent loneliness, required adaptability, and fierce resilience—had trained me for life after divorce.

Q: What made now the right time to write and release Camouflage? Were there parts that were difficult to write down on paper, or did it feel cathartic to write down everything?

A: I actually never planned to write this memoir until I published an article called 5 Marriage Tips from a Divorced Military Spouse. After the piece went live, my inbox flooded with women praising me for writing about military divorce, a topic that’s rarely talked about. Some women were facing military divorce, others were in the midst of a rocky phase in their marriage and thanked me for the tips, and many encouraged me to write a book. I started reflecting on the end of my marriage and how I was unable to find any memoirs about military divorce at a time when I so desperately needed them. So I wrote the book I wish I had during my divorce.

I think writing the book was a combination of difficult and cathartic. Honestly, every day of writing was different. I was simultaneously reading through 20 years of my journals and going through old photos so the memories were so vivid I almost felt at times that I was reliving that time period again.

Some days I was angry at my younger self for missing so many red flags in my marriage and not listening to gut feelings. Other days I felt overwhelming compassion for my younger self for making such efforts to make the marriage and military life work. Some days I cried because it was so tough thinking about the years I spent being unhappy. Other days I felt joy and pride seeing how far I’d come, how I fought to make an amazing new life for myself, a life my younger self never could have imagined.

Q: What are messages and emotions you hope readers feel after they finish reading Camouflage? 

A: I hope readers walk away from reading Camouflage with the reminder that they should always choose happiness. I hope the book helps divorced women see that it’s possible to thrive after divorce and that starting over can be a time for personal growth and reinvention. I hope the book helps military spouses feel less alone with the inherent challenges they’re forced to endure. I hope civilian readers walk away from the book with a better understanding and appreciation for the sacrifices our service members and their families make. And I hope the book helps anyone who feels like they’ve lost their identity see that it’s never too late to find themselves again.

Q: Will your next book be another memoir or will you try your hand at fiction this time around? 

A: Definitely fiction! I was working on a novel before I started writing Camouflage, and it’s been fun digging that old manuscript up and working on it again. I’ve never written fiction before so it’s a huge departure from the writing I’m accustomed to. But it feels good to switch up genres and flex some new creative muscles.

Q: What’s it like having your work featured in The New York Times, Washington Post, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Business Insider, TODAY, Electric Lit, & many others? What is your advice for anyone wanting to submit their work to these publications? 

A: Sometimes I look at the list of publications where I have bylines, and I’m blown away. I don’t have an educational background in writing. I didn’t go to journalism school or get an MFA. My writing career started with a blog in 2010. So to see what I’ve been able to accomplish through hard work, passion, determination, and persistence despite a steady stream of rejections makes me incredibly proud of myself. I take nothing for granted.

My best advice is to find a writing community. Whether you meet up with a writing group in person or find online groups, the writing life is so much easier and more pleasant with other people mentoring you and cheering you on. Seasoned writers can help share editor contact information, teach you how to craft an effective pitch and compose a piece with an angle that will stand out, and model how to cope with rejection. Critique groups are great ways to get feedback on your work, as long as you’re willing to offer your time to critique others’ work in return. 

I also recommend taking webinars. There are tons out there online, and you can even find some for free. There are also countless craft books that cover just about every aspect of writing you can think of. (You can find some of my favorites here.)

Q: Heather, would you please provide your social media links so the readers of the blog and I can follow you and your work? 

A: I’m pretty much on every social media platform, but I’m probably most active on Instagram.

Website: https://www.heatherlsweeney.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/writersweeney 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathersweeneywrites 

Substack: https://heathersweeney.substack.com/ 

Threads: https://www.threads.net/@writersweeney 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-sweeney-5a15115b/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/heathersweeney.bsky.social

X/Twitter: https://x.com/WriterSweeney